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My thoughts, My dreams, My life

Forgiveness

One of the worst thing I know is when I´ve hurt someone. I never do it intentionally, it´s not a part of my personality. But sometimes it happens anyway. And it is so hard for me sometimes to just say: I´m sorry. But it just hangs there in the air as a big black cloud and I can´t move on without having it said. When I finally gather up all my curage and say I´m sorry, it feels so good. But then when the other person says: "it´s okey", I don´t know what to do. Because it feels as if my apology isn´t enougth even if the person I hurted says it is.

Those of you who has been hurt by people who loves you and you haven´t yet forgiven them, do you understand that it hurts them more than yourself because they have hurt you? Forgiveness is one of the most valuable things we can give and receive.

Fear

Right now Iam suffering from the flue. I got fever and Iam so exhausted, my body can hardly even manage to type this blogpost;)

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Iam so anxious. The weeks are passing so fast. Soon I´ll be abroad. First doing the final preparations for our wedding, then go thru it, all without my family:S and later go for the honeymoon. And what´s even more scary is that after our honeymoon Iam going to a country where I´ve never been too. And stay there. Start our new life together, and live there for as long as Allah has planned. It´s normal I guess to feel anxious about it.

How will I manage celebrating the best day of my life so far without my family?
How will I manage to live everyday for many days, months maybe even years without seeing my family?
How can a person deal with being almost all alone in a whole new country?

I love my husband of course, and am looking forward to our life soooooo much. But I´m still scared.

Anyone who moved abroad alone or with f.e husband? How did you manage to create a new life for yourself? New friends? New activities? Job? Education?

So afraid

Iam so afraid.. So so so afraid. Why?

Because Iam happy. I am so afraid of losing my happiness.

I am avoiding speaking about my happiness because I might get the "evil eye".

I just have a real bad feeling about this whole thing.

I am trying to avoid thinking about it this way but I just can´t help it. Oh God...

Dear sisters and brothers

To all my fellow muslims.

I have ever since i reverted called other muslims my sibblings. I feel as if this is more common among reverts. Maybe Iam wrong but that´s how I feel, maybe it is just because I have had more contact with reverts..

Well anyway I think it´s important for us muslims to call eachother sisters and brother. And the reason for that is to feel united. Even if there are sooo many groups in islam, which is unfortunate.

We should all be more humble towards eachother. It is of great importance especially for reverts to feel welcomed when they finally find their way back to Islam.

It is our duty and honour as muslims to welcome and encourage reverts.

All the talk about shia/sunni/wahabi and the rest of the groups-forget all about that!! Why think about our differences when we can think about what we all have in common? Think about it, what is really the most important? To be a muslim and everything that means, or is what´s most important really about who is right and who´s not?? No one will ever say they are wrong.

If you follow a perticular group in islam it´s most likely because you feel it´s right. Right for you. There is no use discussing back and forth. When it´s discussed and mixed up in politics when it comes to how to rule a country that´s one thing. But when it comes to discussing it online??? There´s no use people. It often, if not always, ends with "us" yelling at eachother and misbehaving. Now Iam not talking about discussions handled in a good way, where we learn from eachother and show interests. I support those ways of spreading knowledge.

But Iam just saying that the discussions we know from the beginning won´t lead to anything good why even go there??

We are all muslims. So think of other muslims as your beloved sibblings and treat them with respect, humbleness and love.

2 issues

okey so I have a few problems. Iam living with my parents and they got a dog. Everytime the dog leaves I have to clean the whole apartment because I don´t like the hair of the dog to be everywhere. And since the dog aren´t consider to be clean in Islam I try to avoid as much as possible but we live in a small flat so it´s kind of impossible.

And we had a BBQ today. Before when planning this BBQ I told my mom that I´d bring a one time grill aswell since I don´t want to bbq my meat on their grill. They aren´t muslims and they do eat pig. Mom said that she had arranged that already. Of course I thought that we were going to bbq on 2 different grills. But when I came there today she had bought something of aluminium to put the meat on and put this whole thing on the grill... I don´t know, but I just couldn´t tell mom that that still didn´t feel quite okey for me, since the fat and juices from the pig still are on the grill and on the cover (it was a grill with a lock)..... I just feel so bad about it. Till this day I find it hard to act as a muslim and do what I believe I should do especially if it involves changing routines...astarfighallah.. Iam feeling nauseas just thinking about it.....

Who knows?!?

It seems to be very common that the husband dislike the fact that their wife is blogging. Or am I wrong? My husband knows about me blogging and is okey with it. I guess me not putting any of my pictures or talking to much in detail about my life is helping a lot.

I think if he was blogging, I wouldn´t like it too much. But of course that would depend on what he was blogging about. If it was about work, his hobbies whatever I would be fine with it. If it was about me and him private stuff of course I wouldn´t like it. But afterall he would never do that. Iam sure of it. He is a good man hamdella.

So all you not single female bloggers, do your spouse know about your blog?